My computer is ten years old. Gory details to follow. Let’s all watch a Dobby video instead!

Ten years ago, my computer decorated the monitor with multi-colored pixel-width stripes of tinsel. Sometimes an entire block of color appeared. In a final expression of distress, enough pixels expired until I could no longer read the error windows and shut her down completely. This computer (I sneer at the monitor facing me in an act of defiance) is the worthy replacement.

For some reason he was particularly enchanted with these butterfly wings.

Unfortunately, the quantity of capybara photos and videos stored locally threaten to sabotage my efforts to bring you ever more videos and photos. Tiptoeing through the cloud is laborious and, frankly, my internet connection is capricious and unreliable. Furthermore, Catalina is the newest operating system this device will tolerate, and that is already several seasons out of date. In two years time, I am told, Apple will no longer support it. A replacement machine would solve the extinction problem, but not the storage issue. It is time for an upgrade to an iMac Pro. This much I know, but I cannot come to grips with the price tag.

I was shocked to learn that he qualified for the car loan, but whatever.

Here in Silicon Valley North, thousands of recently retired iMac Pros languish in closets and garages of tech professionals. All I ask is for one of these kind souls to generously donate their gently used computer to Stacy’s Funny Farm. This donation is completely tax-deductible and comes with a custom and entirely legitimate IRS 1099 letter. Stacy’s Funny Farm will also throw in a capybara plush toy, a copy of Dobby’s book I Can Explain Everything: Confessions of a Pet Capybara, and maybe some other stuff. Use that ask dobby tab above to contact me. Pass the word, and thanks in advance.

It was love at first sight!

(We also accept cash donations, but seriously, check your closet for computers, okay? And watch more videos- we’re monetized and there are hundreds of videos on Dobby’s channel.)