I’m usually embarrassed to admit that I am nearly two years into Portuguese lessons on Duolingo. I’m not too likely to get back to Brazil before my (hard-to-get) visa expires next month. Equally embarrassing is the amount of time I spend on the internet looking at capybaras. I am proud to say, however, that my newly acquired Portuguese is invaluable when perusing them on Brazilian websites.

The capybara “rabbit hole” is as vast as any others, so please allow me to present my current favorites here. They are from all around the world, and of random vintage as well. Mileage may vary.

Let’s start with the musical score:

We’ll continue on with with the Capy B Cafe in Vancouver, B.C., Canada. I started hearing about it several months ago, so I was all primed when a friend sent me this promotional video. I have a friend who visited a capybara cafe in Japan, so I figured, why not? A few of us were all ready to caravan up there when it opened in June.

Capy B Cafe, Vancouver, B.C. Canada

Alas, the publish date was April 1, 2023. April Fool’s Day. I would like to mention, to any local billionaires (and Seattle has many) that this is a business opportunity not to be missed. Contact me here- I’d love to hear from you!

Let’s move along from that bitter disappointment. I made an executive decision here not to showcase the anaconda and jaguar videos. They are out there but I prefer to avert my eyes. Your Portuguese probably isn’t good enough to read the scientific papers, but I post the English ones to the ROUS Foundation website when I have a good handful of them. The fun stuff migrates here.

The release date for Chef Capybara is June 26, 2023, AKA two days ago. We’ll see. It looks like a fun videogame, probably worth the $0.99 price tag. I’m intrigued, let me know.

I promised you some Brazil. But this is Peru. The headwaters of the Amazon River start in the mountains, east of the Andes. Sean Crane was recently there, and his wildlife photos are incredible. Here is a capybara. I’m guessing a lactating female. Do you see nipples? Check out his website– this guy has been everywhere and animals seem to crawl out from under rocks to be photographed by him.

Lactating female, perhaps?

The following photo is from Brazil. I think this guy was featured on TikTok. Albino capybaras are rare. What I really want to see is zebra stripes, polka dots, or the ever-popular but somehow under-utilized giraffe. Brown is so passé.

Sugar-frosted capybara

The following video is from Brazil. The story line goes something like “We have lots of capybaras all over this park, but watch out because they can become aggressive and attack dogs.” Most of the good capybara scenes are at the beginning. You have my permission to exit once the policeman starts jabbering.

Here’s another warning: “Cute but dangerous: discover the risks of interacting with capybaras. Although they look cute and even friendly, capybaras can pose serious risks, such as transmitting diseases.” No video, but some good photos of capybaras at this link.

Not much of a story to go with the next photo because they didn’t bother to interview the capybaras. Were they looking for a specific model? Did they make a purchase? Are they even old enough to drive?

Maybe they just like cars. Here they are wandering through a grocery store parking lot.

Have you ever thought about getting a capybara tattoo? You are not the first! Check these out! And please, someone, anyone, explain to me the significance of the pole-dancing capybara. Maybe I’m missing something, but I just don’t get it.

Comments? Additions? I’m all ears! I’m calling this mashup of capybara tidbits the Capybara Contrarian. That should make it easier to recognize this dazzling format of educational material in the future. A grab-bag, as it were. This might be the first or the last, but we’re not going to know that for a while.