I was featured in The New Yorker magazine recently.
It will come as a surprise to few of you that not only am I am running for president, but I am WINNING!
I think everyone has been secretly hoping for a viable third candidate choice this election season. I am promising free, unlimited corn, and swimming pools WITH goldfish, for all.
You can read about it in The New Yorker magazine, the September 5, 2016 issue.
Sadly, I am polling last in beer drinking buddies, even behind Hillary.
I am insulted that I didn’t make the cover, but I’m sure The New Yorker is waiting for my victory issue. Thank you, Barry, for your invaluable boost to my campaign!